Did you ever feel like you were on the edge of the cliff? Though not in a bad way but that if you just let your self go that you could swoop, soar and dive through the air and not fall..... that's how I feel about the Doc right now. It's as if he's on the precipice and that any second he's going to take off and there'll be no looking back, we will finally get to hear his little voice and even prehaps a "Mammy" or "Daddy" - there's a bottle of Champagne sitting at home gathering dust for just that occasion.
Of course I've heard the Doc speak before, in fact I've heard him speak many times, I've had full blown conversations with him, I've spoken to him as a child not older than he is now, as a young boy of about 6 or 7 and even as a young adult - the only problem is that I then wake up! I hate these dreams, I used to have perfectly 'normal' stress dreams about waking up on the morning of an exam and realising I didn't know anything but now I have these tortuous dreams. And as it slowly dawns on me that I was dreaming, the reality of the situation hits me like a slap in the face.It's the expectation which has been the hardest to control, in the past we would have thought that in a months time or 3 months time or that by Easter or Christmas that progress would have been made but of course these came and went with no progress.
However, now we are seeing(and dare I say it, hearing.....) the progress which the Doc is making. The Doc took to PECs like a duck to water, the first few days I had my doubts as he laboured away on a single card with a picture of a pringle but within a week or two he had mastered the concept and now we use PECs cards for all the Doc's needs.(Major Thanks to P for all her work on these) This has been a big help to us understanding what the Doc is looking for and prevents alot of frustration on both our behalfs.
The Doc's vocabularly(sic) has just rocketed in the past few weeks, he understands the names of items which we never even introduced to him; one day not so long ago Kirstin, our HT, was introducing some new flash cards to the Doc, she was only planning on showing him a few new ones but in the end she showed him the lot(about 50) and he got more than half them right straight away even though they were all new to him.
And then there are the sounds, he is really making an effort, we're definitely hearing the "o" in "open", and "oh oh", and the "b" in "ball" and "bun" to name but a few, this is where the PECs really helps in that he has to make an effort at saying what's on the picture in order to get it. Along side that the eye contact has improved and his wanting to interact with us has also increased. We even get some word approximations but some of this could be wishful thinking........ But it doesn't stop there, only in the past 2 months the Doc has started to do kissing(!), the Doc doesn't do lips but he presents his cheek for kisses - he sometimes then wipes them away in front of you, you wouldn't want to be easily offended! And not to forget waving, it used to really depress me to have to wave the Doc's hand to wave bye bye, but now he does it all the time and if we're really lucky we get the occasional "bye" thrown in as well.
This of course has led to great expectations and who could blame us. We've been warned that even with all this progress that there's still no guaruntees, the Doc might never talk but damn it we're going to continue to believe, what's the alternative? I know there are plenty of knocks to come but there's no point in being pessimistic about the future, we need to maintain a positive outlook and whether its 6 weeks, months or years away; we plan on cracking open that bottle of bubbly!This is the Doc's favourite video at the moment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg9_WwYWSfA
13 comments:
Sounds like the Doc is making some steady progress there! It great that he's taken to Pecs so well and the frustrations are lessening. Its hard to reshape the dreams we once had for our kids, but then we realise that the dreams just change, dont disappear. How many parents miss out on the small achievements their kids make, too busy or just because they were expected anyway. We celebrate every milestone or even milepebble in this house and no longer take things for granted. We all need to have great expectations and hope, thats what keeps us going :) Great blog again xx
Fab blog, that video happens to be a favourite of my little fella too :). It sounds as if he is definitely coming on leaps and bounds from where he was before and it hard not to get expectations up, I still get upset on a weekly basis when I think my little man is doing brilliantly only for a OT or SLT session to point out the vast differences between him and other kids his age. I think as parents we expect too much, we do take things like talking, walking and behaving for granted but then having a child with autism comes along and presents a whole new set of challenges for both them and us. I hope you get to open that bottle of bubbly sometime soon as the doc progresses.
Doc and HRH are like peas in a pod by the sounds of it. It is so exciting. I try to tame my excitement to a degree as I don't want to put himself or myself under pressure to achieve something he is just not ready for, but oh how I celebrate the few attempts at words that he has. PECS has been the best thing ever in this house too, we love it and frustration levels are down to zero these days:) WTG Doc, and to you and P, I get exactly how proud and excited you are:) Jen.
what a great blog well done Doc we are going to interduce cahir to pecs now next week and the kissing we got our first kiss 2 weeks ago(none since but we got one) we're still doing the bye bye hand over hand waving and the odd time we think we hear a word... and doesn't your heart just stop and you don't move hopeing he might say it again and then you think it's in your head (did he didn't he) really really Loved your blog i hope cahir takes to Pecs like Doc did... might need a few tips there...a big YEEHA for GREAT EXPECTATIONS xxx
kathleen coyle curran
wonderful blog paul, so well writtin and the doc is doin so well, we can see it each week we're over with yez. I can only imagine how each step of progress comes as a sigh of relief to much deserved parents and you both are wonderful amazing kind parents. I can see a flash image of the doc and abigail sneeking off to the disco when der like 16 or something laughing at us as they go! Oh how i look forward to these yrs ;-) not!
Hi, I'm new to your blog (I read it through the fan page on Facebook for "Autism In Ireland -- The Bloggers") so I haven't really read any of your other posts, so I normally I wouldn't comment. But... that one about wiping off the kisses struck a chord. My 6-year-old son does that, too, as he has Sensory Affective Disorder issues. Instead of getting offended (or having other people be offended) we made a game of it a while back. Now when he gets a kiss on the cheek, we firmly "rub it in for luck." And when he gives us kisses, he does the same. So he's not wiping away that kiss, he's "rubbing it in for luck," and we are too. It's worked for us, and circumvents those Sensory Affective issues, while getting him to do even more touching. Good luck!
You can add Bob to the Doc & HRH club...he's 5 1/2 now, but when he was 3 he had no words. We couldn't even tell if he understood us.
PECS was a big turning point for us too. Of course there are no guarantees, but the Doc won't "un-learn" anything he knows now, and the fact that he is vocalising is very promising.
In Bob's case, his speech development was very gradual but he has enough words now to ask for juice or the iTouch etc.
When PECS works it's brilliant...keep at it xxx
ah that was an excellent post, i don't know how old your boy is but my lad had no speech at three and a half and very little at five he is now six and has become very clear, we dont even need our visual schedule at home any more. thanks for the video he loved it!!
lovely post
were at a vey similar stage on this journey of ours and our wonderful kids
Luva hates pecs but will use his way of looking for stuff, he is just too bloody stubborn to use the pecs but HE CAN do it
i too have the wave at long last when he feels like, we now too get kisses and some interaction, its a wonderful feeling to see even the littlest of prgress
i try not to want more that hes ready to give but its hard
loving your blogs xx
ive just seen your link to children in need song, luca loves that video, we finally got it in dolden discs but took ages to find it.
luca giggles and dances the whole way through
what a strong little kid! id never give up believing, hes doing so amazing as it is! his day will come, and god will it be worth the wait.
I love your blog, keep them coming!
Celebrate EVERY win!
Sometimes it can seem that you focus all your attention on the battles, Talking, Toileting, Sleeping
So when you have a little win you are too busy to notice.
Well do. I think you should have a "recognisable vocal approximation" cocktail party, and then the following week "getting 25 out of 50 novel flashcards" Brunch.
Don't be like me walking aimlessly in the supermarket one day and realising that i hadn't been in the nappy aisle for over 6 months (after 8 years)
Adjust your expectations and enjoy every little step
So grab a few sparklers, balloons and those little horn yokes and celebrate - whadevers!
xx
Have you looked into nutrition? i think its The Optimum Nutrition for The Mind by Patrick Holfield that says something about certain suppliments taken in big doses can improve lucidity in autistic people.
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