Thursday, April 15, 2010
Kind of ironic that I mention clouds on a day when an ash cloud grounds all aircraft when this blog is about me going away and the effect it may or may not have on the Doc. A week tomorrow I leave for China for 3 months due to work. It seemed such a long way off at the start of the year but as the weeks slipped away it grew gradually closer until now it is starring us in the eye.
I don't want to go but the choices are limited, if I don't I'm effectively making myself redundant and it's not a job seekers market out there. I would love if the Family could come with me but that's not feasible either, the Doc is doing great with his HT and we wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that.
I've been thinking about the effect of this on the Doc and reluctantly I've come to the conclusion that every cloud does have a silver lining. I don't think that me not being around for this period will have an adverse affect on the Doc(goes without saying that it puts an awful amount of work and pressure on P to keep everything going) to be honest I don't think I'll be missed - now I'm not looking for sympathy here - I just think that this is a reflection of the Doc's condition. If the Doc were NT I'm sure there would be upset and constantly looking to see when I was coming home but the Doc is not NT...... I believe he'll wake up on Friday the 23rd and go about his routine as normal, P will be there to get him up, fed and ready for his HT and he'll go about his business. He may look for me under the duvet, I know this as he did this a few times in the morning the last time I was away, but what I'm trying to say is that he won't be upset that I'm not there.
The other night the Doc saw me drive off to work and P said he cried for a bit and was blubbering something that sounded like "I want Daddy" but if he not seen me leave then I don't think he would have been upset.
I hope this makes some sense, it's not that I want the Doc to be upset, far from it, we spend most of our time ensuring he isn't. I just think it's ironic that due to his condition that he won't be(or at least wont express it)
I know I will.....