Thursday, April 15, 2010

Every cloud......


Kind of ironic that I mention clouds on a day when an ash cloud grounds all aircraft when this blog is about me going away and the effect it may or may not have on the Doc. A week tomorrow I leave for China for 3 months due to work. It seemed such a long way off at the start of the year but as the weeks slipped away it grew gradually closer until now it is starring us in the eye.
I don't want to go but the choices are limited, if I don't I'm effectively making myself redundant and it's not a job seekers market out there. I would love if the Family could come with me but that's not feasible either, the Doc is doing great with his HT and we wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that.
I've been thinking about the effect of this on the Doc and reluctantly I've come to the conclusion that every cloud does have a silver lining. I don't think that me not being around for this period will have an adverse affect on the Doc(goes without saying that it puts an awful amount of work and pressure on P to keep everything going) to be honest I don't think I'll be missed - now I'm not looking for sympathy here - I just think that this is a reflection of the Doc's condition. If the Doc were NT I'm sure there would be upset and constantly looking to see when I was coming home but the Doc is not NT...... I believe he'll wake up on Friday the 23rd and go about his routine as normal, P will be there to get him up, fed and ready for his HT and he'll go about his business. He may look for me under the duvet, I know this as he did this a few times in the morning the last time I was away, but what I'm trying to say is that he won't be upset that I'm not there.
The other night the Doc saw me drive off to work and P said he cried for a bit and was blubbering something that sounded like "I want Daddy" but if he not seen me leave then I don't think he would have been upset.
I hope this makes some sense, it's not that I want the Doc to be upset, far from it, we spend most of our time ensuring he isn't. I just think it's ironic that due to his condition that he won't be(or at least wont express it)

I know I will.....

11 comments:

Jen said...

He'll express it in his own way, it might not be a way you or P expect but don't doubt for a minute that he will express it somehow. I hope the time away goes really well and flies in so that you can all be back together:) Jen.

Joeys mum said...

yes my boys are the same, I dont have a clue if they missed me recently... but i missed them!! They were well cared for, i knew that...just wish they could come on hols with us & the girls.xxx

Patsyperdu said...

I'll be missing you enough for the two of us. And we'll be kissing your photo every morning and night xxx

Anonymous said...

when i look at my wee sunshine i know that like you if i went away he wouldn't miss me i think he wouldn't even notice ,everything with sunshine has to be learned ,we have to teach him to use a spoon to suck a straw to wait, to climb the stairs even to eat, their are just some things that we are unable to teach sunshine like how to miss us when we're not there , feelings and emotions i can't teach him and to tell you the truth their are some emotions i am glad that at the minute he is unaware off ,sunshine is happy, and i'm happy knowing that, i hope the 3 months fly in and your home with your lovely family soon

Looking for Blue Sky said...

That's so tough for you all, I hope the time passes really quickly.

Sesame said...

im with jen...u may not think it but it will manifest itself in some other way that you might not relate it to u being away...like u i used to think the same about Babs that he didnt miss us until we came back...was almost like oh there u are again if we returned from few days of 'us time'...but after been away this yr for 3 nites when i spoke to Babs on the phone he said 'i lost u lots' meaning i miss u...we cried lol...but he was so glad when we came home...his scripting went through the roof for the hole of the following 2 wks and it was his way of coping with us been away...hope ur few months away fly by and am sure u will be missed ... sesame xx

Tazzy said...

Agree with Jen too - he WILL miss you, in his own way. When button was about 3, mr taz had to go to the states for 2 weeks. Button seemed fine throughout, but 2 weeks after he came back, we had the suitcase in the hall to lend to someone and button went ballistic - crying and calling for daddy. And then wouldn't let him out of his sight for ages! Hope the time flies for you all xx Tazzy

Jean said...

It's great that you have a job, given the economy, but boy it's a long way off.
I fully agree with the gals who said that he'll miss you in his own way. Hope the time flies for you XXX

clairelouise82 said...

I'm sure he will miss u in his own way. My son is a worrier. I don't know if it is his Aspergers that makes him this way. Half hour late and his pacing the room preying to god me or his father are alive. I hate seeing him in that state. I was reading about the volcano in the paper today. Beat your pleased you were not booked to fly out these past few days.

Hope all goes well.x

jazzygal said...

I'm definitely with Jen and Sesame...he will express it in his own way.

I wish you well for your trip and I hope the time flies by...I've no doubt that you will e missed lots and I hope he waves you goodbye!! (just caught up on your previous post!!)

Apologies for missing all your posts but I'd saved you (and others) to the wrong part of my blog! I now have some catching up to do!

xx jazzy

Michelle said...

RICK- DASSAULT- RUSH....they took that TRIP in a ROCKET SHIP with SCHAR- 169....and it was VERY VERY LUCRATIVE but they will pay the price of that TICKET!
Cause now KANSAS is talking and LOUDLY!
And what they say is all ROVE- ROKST!
And it's all with MEESE!
You know that one for PEACE?
That one for COMSTUL- HYDICA- HYCOCTO with KILLA COLES?
With KILLA WATT - KILLA JONSO?
HOSYMCA ?
The one with LACHILL- PATBIL?
Oh yeah..y'all now gonna pay..y'all now gonna pay.
TEXAS- YEMEN- COLORADO .
SAYONARA.